I have a tendency to struggle through life trying to make everything appear effortless and brushing aside compliments as if I don’t deserve them—“because really I wasn’t trying” when in reality I am putting time and energy into everything. This wouldn’t be a problem if I wasn’t so darn touchy about people thinking I’m lazy or things are perfect, when they aren’t.
For example, it really bugged me when my coworkers stated that I always just breeze by whenever they seem to be working hard, implying that I am not. Now, while it was stated as a joke, I think there is a nugget of true feeling behind the words. It’s frustrating because in reality today: my back was sore, my eyes were tired, and I just want to crawl into bed and not continue with my job (or the day at all), but instead I presented a smiling and willing façade ready to do whatever was tossed my way. This is partly because I believe presentation is important (hello, style blog!) and also because I don’t like to admit my weaknesses.
Another aggravation I frequently feel is: people believing I spend more on my clothes than I do. I don’t like to talk about money matters and the price of things, because I was just raised in a family where it wasn’t polite. So, the seemingly large wardrobe comes from..? It is partly the illusion of styling and partly the result of extreme frugality. I don’t go out to eat (ever, ask my co-workers), I live on campus in a tiny dorm room, no vehicle (which means no gasoline, no insurance, and also no transportation), etc. Secondly, I always shop in the sale section and frequent secondhand and vintage stores. So, how much money do I spend? Not as much as you think. First off, I work at a minimum wage job, which means I don’t make a lot. The most expensive item I have ever bought was $98 prom dress which I used gift cards on to actually pay far less than that. I consider a $60 item a splurge—yes, you heard me $60 is a splurge, if I buy an item costing that much it will probably be the only thing I buy for at least a week. This is not to say I have problems with spending more on quality items; when I have the money I fully intend to indulge myself in many of the items I admire, but I quite frankly do not have the funds at the moment.
So, being the cheapskate, broke college student that I am, I do get touchy when people comment on my shopping habits/affordability of my wardrobe. Admittedly I am being sensitive about this, but I think it is important for people to know that style can’t be bought. I just felt the need to the clear the air some…
This is probably the only time I will do this, but let’s break down my outfit and its cost: Dress- vintage secondhand ($2.50), belt- secondhand ($1.00), shoes- Urban Outfitters sale ($20), bag- gift
CONVERSATION