We'll Always Have Wildflowers

Editing these pictures made me incredibly nostalgic. There was a field of wildflowers similar to this near my home in Washington State where I lived briefly in 2009. A decade ago. But I can remember one set of pictures I took there as it was yesterday; on a windswept changeable day like the one these were taken in. One moment the air would be still and the sun would be shining, the next ominous clouds would roll through and the wind would stir through my hair. It's funny how a certain scene can connect you instantly with your past even when that past is literally half a world away. Even this dress reminds me of a rust colored dress I used to wear; a summer dress in an autumn color. That dress wasn't quite as elegant as this one with it's sweet ruffles and perfect pleats. I was such a different person then, a fresh university graduate still debating my future with thoughts of law school, the future seemed a smudgy half-realized thing then. I kept squinting but I couldn't figure out what shape it would take. In almost every way life has surprised me. I never thought I would marry and move to another country and now I stand here, ten years older, supposedly wiser and yet I still feel like that twenty-something attempting to squint into the future. I still don't know what tomorrow will bring or what direction my life with ultimately take (I suppose the kick is life doesn't ultimately take one direction, it keeps moving and twisting constantly), but there will always be fields of wildflowers. I find comfort in these consistencies, these themes that emerge year after year without prompting. So much might change but I only have to look in my wardrobe to see the echo of who I was still rebounding against who I am. It's wild how ten years can feel like ten minutes.