Recently someone asked me what I wanted to do next. They knew I’ve had my ups and downs with social media and freelance life in the past few years and wondered if I had considered what could be next—what job would I like to aim for after this? How was I going to up my hustle or improve my position? When was I going to aim for something more? Honestly the question had me sweating, suddenly I was asking myself “what do I want to do next?” I had a 9-5 job in 2017 and part of 2018, but I walked away from that (it’s a story for another day) and as good as that job was in many ways, I know I don’t want to go back to that (I've worked multiple offline jobs while simultaneously blogging). But freelance life is stressful; some months are good and some months are straight up awful and I’m honestly not the best person at managing stress! I also spend far too much time comparing my journey with other people's and wondering why I'm not hitting the same milestones, or earning as much, etc. I spent several days pondering this question “what do I want to do next?” and trying to figure out what my goals should be and how I would work towards them. 
I mean what if all of social media crashes forever and no one ever wants to work with me again, what then? The question nearly kept me up at night until I came to a realization that the entire premise was a red herring. Ultimately, I don’t want to be focused on “what I do” or my career path. So often when I focus on what I want to do it becomes about having more; earning more, living in a bigger house, being able to afford more expensive items, etc. But I don't actually want more. What is the point of working towards higher earnings and a better job if ultimately I want less? It makes me wonder when we decided that our occupations were our vocations and identity? When did what we do for a living become more important than what we did with our lives? Why is the ability to acquire more stuff and fancier stuff seen as the ultimate achievement? personal goal has helped me step outside of the comparison game and feel that I have something really lovely to work towards.
So instead of focusing on my job prospects I’m trying to focus on the type of life I want and honestly that life is pretty simple. I’d like to own a house somewhere in the countryside so I can walk out my door and straight into nature with Thomas and our dog by my side. I’d like the house to be big enough that when my parents visit there’s space for them to stay with us (the gatehouse doesn’t have this space otherwise I might never move from my current home). 
I could go into more specifics about how I’d like to actually learn to garden or write a novel or make my own jam every year or have an open fire place, but ultimately that’s the goal: to live in a cozy house somewhere quiet. That’s what I want next. And you know what? That goal doesn't require me to earn an impressive-sounding income, it doesn't need a flashy job, or an outstanding CV. Now instead of focusing on what I’d like to do, I’m going to focus on where I’d like to be and who I’d like to become. I know I’ll still have to work and earn money in order to afford the goal, but now the job isn’t the goal. It’s a means to an end. It’s what I do, not who I am. I'm still planning on changing things up next year and trying my hand at new sidelines, but shifting the focus to a more long-term
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